Who Are You?
Hello! Welcome back to BreeAshley!
To be honest, it's been hard to write another post. I have this expectation that I have created for myself that is unrealistic. I am too focused on what others will think about me or my writing. I have so many topics that I want to write about but everything I keep writing, I don't feel confident in. This week at church, I was reminded that I am not doing this for my own recognition but to share my faith. From now on, this is what I will be doing.
I went to a Christian college. It was a college that had girl dorms and boy dorms separated, we had visitation hours where girls and guys could visit each other in a certain time frame. We had a rule called "shoe in the door"; this is where if a guy or girl was in your room, you had to put a literal shoe in the door to crack the door. This also was to let others know that the opposite sex was in the building/hall. We had community bathrooms in each hall. This was my life for four years. Some think this sounds ridiculous and insane. I went to a college that was 3 hours away and I did not know anyone going to this school. I did the most adventurous/uncomfortable thing I have ever done. Was it worth it? Most definitely! Did I miss seeing my high school friends? Yes I did, but I made some really great friends too. I have so many memories from this college. Looking back, I learned so much about who I am as a person by getting out of my comfort zone and making myself go to a place I never been to.
Coming from my childhood and going to a Christian college, I expected to be surrounded by a campus full of believers. This was so wrong. I got there and was amazed on how many people were not a believer. I was shocked and honestly disappointed. I think one of the many reasons why God led me to this college was to teach me who I am supposed to be. During my time at college, I made some amazing friends but I also made some enemies. I was the same girl I am now. I was shy, polite, kind, Christian, and loved my comfort bubble. I also learned how angry I can get, how rude I can be, and how nasty my words could get. There was a time at college where I turned my focus to the drama and hateful side. I look back at that time and am embarrassed of that time. I think about all the hateful things I may have said and maybe the things I did to hurt those around me. I was going to a counselor at college and she asked me how I was doing with my time with God. She mentioned she noticed a change in me and it was concerning her. I remember to this day that I sat in her office and had this realization that I was not focusing on my relationship with God. I was going through the motions. That moment replays in my head when I start to drift away.
She gave me homework that week to reflect on what the "old " me would have done vs what "current" me was doing. That was hard to do, to be honest. To try to look at your situation and think about what the "you" a year ago would have done vs what "you" now would do. During that time I found a pattern in my life. It was the people I was surrounding myself with, I was not being intentional in my day to day life. I still to this day find myself drifting away and realizing who I am spending time with in my life. I still have to take a step back and remember who I really am. I want to ask you something. Who do you surround yourself with? At work? At home? In the community? Look at yourself and reflect on yourself.
God talks in the Bible about who we should be surrounding ourselves with. He talks about how we should be treating others and to ourselves. He tells us how to live our daily life.
In college, after talking with my counselor I got my Bible out and started to read. I told myself I wanted to highlight or underline what stood out to me. When I go back and look at what I underlined/highlighted, it all points to who we should be and how we should be treating each other. It told me who we should be surrounding ourselves with.
This last Sunday, I was sitting in church. Should I have been paying attention to the sermon, maybe. What I really was doing was reading all my highlighted/underlined verses. The funny thing is, I did not like who I was becoming and it was like God slapped it in my face.
God tells us in many places how to live our lives. I am going to give you a few that are highlighted in my Bible that help me refocus.
Galatians 5:13-15 NLT
"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to serve your sinful nature. Instead, use our freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command. 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' But if you are always biting and devouring one another, wat out! Beware of destroying one another."
Galatians 5:22-26 NLT
"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirits' leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.
Ephesians 4:2-4 NLT
"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future."
I could list a lot more. These are just the few I wrote down. God wants us to be full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and have self control. I will be the first one to say I am no where close to this list. My goal is to strive to be more likes these every day that I am walking this Earth. I am not perfect, trust me, I am working on these along side of you. I am encouraging myself and hopefully others to focus on one of these "fruits" and start to learn about them. How to live life with them. I will list a couple more passages, but I encourage you to look them up and read them for yourself. Ephesians 4:1-31, Ephesians 5:1-2, 15-20, Philippians 1:27-30, Philippians 2.
I ask you, who are you? Write down who you are. Write down all of the adjectives to describe who you are. Then write down who you are actually. Some of you may do what I did and write down the things I think I am. I encourage you to be raw and real with yourself. Does it match to what you wrote down about who you are? If not, what are you going to do about that? If you need to talk about this, feel free to contact me. I would love to listen and talk with you.
Be real. Be honest. Be you.
